Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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