It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
