I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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