WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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