i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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