Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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