i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I look better un-naked...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
