she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she peed on how many people?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
