my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
