Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
