when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
