if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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