we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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