This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
