That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
