Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
