He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
