Plan B is the new Plan A
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
