you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
