i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
