Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
