you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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