mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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