She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
