wakey wakey hands off snakey
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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