I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
