"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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