Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
