dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
