guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
