i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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