Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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