You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
