I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The air was thick with penises
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
