What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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