Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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