Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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