pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
