Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
