There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
