And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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