You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
