Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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