i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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