I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
