I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
