whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
