okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
