Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
