butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
