they need to just BURY HIM!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
